Confessions Of A NutJob.(Buro and Milo to my dear school friends)..

(Disclaimer)-The following events are true and any resemblance to any person living or dead is totally intended.

The I.C.S.E exams had just been over but carried with it no sense of euphoria. In fact it signaled an end of childhood and the first meaningful journey into adulthood where career was primary started right there.

As is usual with most students, for me too it meant the starting of tuitions for class 11 and 12 and preparation for the HOLY GRAIL of engineering-IITJEE.

The first 5 months (or it maybe 6) went by in a blur. The Board results came out and I gloated over my 6 pointer. For the next few days I became an insufferable haughty idiot prepared to look down on anyone who had scored less than me. Well I had always been kind of a whacko throughout my life but those few months I was more impossible to bear than usual.

Nonetheless new people came in. So new friendships were forged and new kinds of banter learnt and exchanged. To my delight I found of my favorite teachers teaching us English. I was already some kind of a teacher’s pet then, especially hers and she had a reputation of having too much of an old school no nonsense attitude. To this day I wonder who the more intolerable soul was for the first few months, me or her.

However even I became tired of this constant doting attention and to the relief of us all, she left after a few months, and we were spared further torture(well I wanted to use a better word but my vocab stinks so….).

Now it so happened that I had managed to create a lot of bad blood between myself and the rest and therefore tried to act heroic by refusing to be nominated for the position of the HEADBOY of the school on being asked by someone who was equally unpopular as her friend, the departed teacher.

Of course everyone saw through the hollowness of it all and I did not manage t win many hearts in the process. Then there was also the truth which had been pointed out to me a few days earlier by a friend of mine (in the midst of some argument as far as I remember) which was that I had neither the lks nor the charisma nr even the smartness to be the head boy of our school. To this day I thank the benevolent soul silently who dared to call a spade a spade and nothing else.

Then there was the issue of change of our classroom. We welcomed it at first grudgingly because our current premises offered the best view that was possible of the Loreto Convent. In a testosterone charged atmosphere the little miss sunshines were our best hope. However our new classroom proved to be spacious and had an admirable quality of having only doors and no windows at all. This proved to be a boon later on.

I had chosen computers as subject and much to our delight found we had a recess period whenever a class was supposed to take place for the subject. We utilized it fully and played cricket, lots of it. I made 12 out of 5 balls in the very first match and to this very day it remains my best performance ever in the sporting arena.

Time flew by and soon the exams were upon us. I was so confident about math, having scored a pretty 98 in the board exams and was already dreaming of putting the ball out of the park even before the paper had arrived. And I was in for a shocker! I somehow managed to sit through the grueling three hours of the exam. No wonder when the results came out I found I had scored the lowest in class. My arrogance was once and for all busted and it worked wonders for me! I realized I wasn’t infallible and hence I became more tolerable to the general masses. Strange how uniting bad marks can be as I learnt then and saw throughout my college life. I am much friendlier now having had my own share of tough luck

Thank you failure!

p.s. My marks in Mathematics for that semester read: 42/100

A Travel Monologue..

I sailed over a thousand seas,
I crossed a thousand mountains,
I have passed through unwelcome woods,
And drank from sparkling fountains.

I have sculled over bottomless depths,
In search of one true love,
I have trespassed over private lands,
And touched the sky above.

I have fought with beasts and raced with men,
And made merry till the hour of dawn,
I have drank with the Gods and sinned with the Dark,
All for the woman that I want.

The endless quest goes on and on,
On and on till I may die,
Love I might not have got, my lady I might not have found,

But I gained the exhilir of life.

My travels took me far and beyond,
Beyond the realms of possibility,
And I shall move on and on,
Till I fade into eternity.

The Lost Greens...

“Greens o greens, where art thou gone?”
Cries the boy standing on the brink of fading green,
all alone.
Where art thou gone, o lovely days of yesteryears,
The eyes search for lost days amid hot streaming tears.

As he stands on the edge of time preparing for the final leap,
The greens call him back, they who he yearned to keep,
They who he desired more than anything else,
They who could shield him against adulthood’s treacherous spells.

“Greens, o greens, will you not come back for me?
I want you; I want to be free,”
Cries the boy with his heart bleeding out dry.
He wants to go back to the days when he was but a small fry.

“Green, my friend paint me all over again,
I want to be back to my yonder days,
I want to be a child again,
I want to walk back,” so the child says.

But lo! No one listens to his words,
His pitiful cries ringing out in the distance,
He takes his final step forward,
And passes into the realm of adult existence.

Maa....

What is Ma? I had often asked myself. The woman I still ran to at the slightest want of warmth was for me still a mystery to define until recently. And then I thought “Screw all conventional definitions. I am going to define Ma from my own heart. Ma is that feeling when I am lonely and desperately want a hug. Ma is that assurance I always give myself before I do something stupid. Ma is that shelter which I know will always be for me even when the whole world tries to desecrate me. Ma is that patience which will always forgive my mistakes. Ma is that magic hand from which pops something magical every time my tummy yearns for food. Ma is that blind eye to all my shortcomings. To her I am the best no matter how much you all disagree. Ma is that epitome of attention who will always listen to whatever I blabber. Ma is that clockwork who I know will always re-arrange my clothes and books no matter which corner of the earth they will grace. Ma is that smell for me which I get first on reaching home after an exhaustive journey. Ma is that out-of the world indefinable entity which an asshole like me is trying to define at 4:00 a.m in the morning instead of catching up on some sleep. By the way I ain’t on a high.

It Was HER...

He caught his breath. It was her. She was standing under the flickering neon light. “After all these years,” he smiled to himself. That same elegance and beauty. He could say it was her without even looking further. And the years started winding back in his mind. Memories came flashing back, images from a distant past that had been lost amidst the quagmire of life. Until now. “How do I approach her?” Indecision gripped him. The years had taken their toll. ”She wouldn’t recognize me now, “he thought. He tried to chalk out a plan that would see him approach her as an old friend without giving anything away without his current penniless existence. He tried and cancelled out several options. At last he decided the best way would be to approach her directly. He started to walk towards her, his heart pounding in anticipation. Just then a man came out of the nearby shop and before our man could say something went up to her in three steps flat. Our man took a brief pause, dumbstruck. He then nodded to himself. Who was he kidding? She had moved on with her life. Jealousy gripped him. He wanted to tear apart the man from the shop. He had to confront him. He resumed his walk this time at a brisk pace. The walk cooled him down. He accepted it was no use blaming the man from the shop. It was he himself who had failed her. He changed his mind and decided to say his last words to her. However it was too late. Before he could reach her, she screeched away leaving behind a cloud of dust and smoke and her former owner. He kept gazing at the ’69 Chevy, his baby, he had nurtured and loved over the years but had to let go of due to unprecedented hard times. Finally she moved away beyond the horizon leaving a broken man in her wake.

YOU..

When You have no faith no more,
And You are now not that sure,
And You can feel the empty roar,
You know life’s a bitch, life’s a whore.

And then You come crashing down,
To the deepest bowels of the sand,
And You realize you are a loser, You clown,
With none to give You a hand.

Times are but a’changing,
But You are not aware,
You still think You could make it,
Beware, beware.

When You are down and out of hope,
And think of nothing else,
But to hang Yourself by the rope,
And pray for a miracle.

Well, that’s when I say You are ready,
Ready to begin anew,
Show the world you are not anybody,
But a force that slowly grew.

Rise now from the ashes,
And dust off the pain,
Remove Your petty shackles,
And let the earth remember Your name.

FOREVER……

Random Rubbish!!

There is a golden rule that is followed on the streets of bengal.if two vehicles are the bigger one among the two is always to be blamed.The Goliath,you see , is always the rogue. WHO CAN DARE blame the poor David? What doesn't meet the eye or is buried in the volley of outbursts aimed at the unfortunate driver is the fact that more often than not that it is the samller vehicles who are the real culprits.at the helm of these smaller vehicles(read two-wheelesrs) are the y-Gen Romoes with their pillion riding Juliets hugging them so tightly in a show of wanton affection that they look like flood victims clinging onto a piece of log for dear life.They are further emboldened by the fact that the above rule had been enfoeced for centuries before them.With such a pedigree they surely can feel safe and carefree.Further they need to assert their machismo lest they be branded pussies.It was just the other day that i.having just learnt to drive my car,decided to take it for a spin on the main street.Unfortunately the street leads to a park ,so it advertantly plays host to love-struck couples looking for a quick getaway.Aware of this peril,I drove cautiously sometimes overtly so but nonetheless very carefully.The speedometer had just climbed to sixtywhen out of the blue,without a fair warning,emerged a lovelorn two-wheeler from around a blind bend.I had to brake hard and in the process bumped my head against the car.Well the choicest of expletives did escape my mouth.Even the biker had stopped,apparently dumstruck at his own stupidity. I got out and gave them quite a mouthful.Both of them remained silent,managed a small apology under their breath and drove off before further embarassment.I was then that I realised how wonderful it felt to blast someone for their misdemeanors.......Blah...

The Sail Of Life..

 When all's been said and done,
And you are still at open sea,
Remember your journey had just begun
To the promised land of tranquility.

While the winds may howl and waves may roar,
Leaving you teethering in doubt,
God's helping hand will cast you ashore,
If no other help is there about.

And when you finally do hit,
The harbour of eternal bliss,
Say a silent prayer for not saying QUIT,
When all hope seemed totally amiss.

Our life is one big ocean,
And we sail its unpredictable waters,
Sailors ahoy,come my brethren,
Lets throw away our fetters.

For those who row with open mind,
Will be rewarded richly,
The closed spirits, Troubles shall find
and trouble them eternally.

Let us Sail the Sail of Life.....

                                                BON VOYAGE!!!!   

I Run..

Past the shining candles of the Present I rush
In pursuit of fleeting glory,
That one day I might see the fruits of labour
Before life fades away into a silent hush.

I run from voices of the past
They who warn me of the dangers ahead
 The dangers of an untraded path,
Still I run,I run breathless, I ran fast.


I run to catch her tail, 

 The billowing gown of Lady Luck,
She is cunning, She is deceptive,
But I am game too, I am not frail.

One day I will reach there at last,
The Promised Land of untold riches.
Until then I run, run as fast as I can,
With a passion bred of the dreams of the past.

Just Like That..

He looked up at her. The uncanny resemblance to the person he liked to watch most on TV was disturbing.Each and every time.Ofcourse he couldn't say it out loud but he wanted to change that face forever.He wanted to forget it like it had been a bad dream. Only he was powerless to do so.He wasn't GOD and  he hated himself for his handicap. He hated her too.Sometimes it was confusing who he hated more.He wanted to shout out "You are beautiful, too beautiful for your own good and it makes me feel inferior!!Damn you!!Why the hell can't you be a normal person,someone I can look up to as my equal.Its not fair!"
No wonder he wanted to run away.He couldn't and will never be able to measure up to her. It was all like college he thought.The cruel professor who revelled in the fact that his students would never be able to pass his paper.A sad cosmic joke. She was world famous.He was barely known even to the local girls. He did not want to be her however. He wanted to be better than HER.He wanted to show her He was the BOSS.He wanted the world to know HER by his name, not the other way round.And he had failed miserably.Now standing before her, looking into her sad yet accusing eyes he felt like a weakling,a small good-for-nothing insect.Hell!he always felt so whenever he faced her.
The woman sat silent,her vacant gaze drifting from the ceiling to the man in front of her and then again back to the Heavens.
"Despite what you do and how you make me cry everytime,I will always wait for you.I will always love you.No matter wherever you are, if you are in need of help,say the magic word and I'll be there, waiting, with open arms to embrace you.You may want to run away from me but I'll always be there round the corner,looking out for you,to give you a hand when you slip up. You think I am better than you.The truth is You do not think highly of yourself. You set yourself low goals and hence find no inspiration in doing so. You think you are a failure.I tell you,You are a LIGHT THAT NEVER SHONE BRIGHT ENOUGH.But no matter what you are,I will always be proud of you. That's because no one not even GOD can take away from you and me, the fact that YOU are my SON and I your MOTHER".

Faith

I see Japan and I ask if GOD is really there and if HE is what's he doing on the sidelines as a quiet spectator while the carnage unfolds before HIS eyes?? I see Libya and I wonder how they ended up being the forsaken.Have we stooped so low that we have been abandoned to our terrible and inescapable fate??I see Delhi in the news for all the wrong reasons and I cant find anything that's shining in our country..By GARR!!leave the women alone!!
The other day someone told me.."We are wasting our national resources..and you know who are responsible??Us!!we are alienating our women,our greatest national treasure!!" Dear GOD where were you then??
The questions ravage my mind and push me to the brink of insanity and disbelief,a step closer into the welcoming arms of the 'Shaitan'.I am almost ready to give up when a gentle voice whispers in my ears. "Open your eyes.Look around you.For every Libya there is an Egypt.For every Japan there will be a United Nations. For every life lost and every wrong perpetuated,someone will learn to love,a lot of new lives will be created.A parent never disowns the child.HE is always there, looking after you.Have faith in the Shephard.Rise up and breathe in the joy of life."

Therefore no matter the damage caused and the terrible destruction yet to come(if any),I still say...
"Let LIGHT be with you....have faith and YOU shall not walk alone.."

Will You Come My Friend?

To the end of world and back,
Would be you so kind to join me?
There might be a thousand waves crashing on you
At times when you might need a hard earned rest.

We will travel the seas, the mountains and the land as well.

From Kandahar to Reykjavik,
We will trod the forbidden lands
Pray with the lamas,
Dance with the gypsies,
Ride with the Arabs,
Hunt with Masai
And sleep underneath the stars,
While the gentle breeze from Kilimanjaro
Soothes us and brings back the memories from back home.
We shall revel in chasing the elephants, visit Tutankhamen in his wondrous eternal sleep
And look the Sphinx in the eye.

When we reach the end
We shall simply turn back and head home,
For there will be waiting on the front porch our families,
And people shall line the streets waving flags,
As they welcome us, the heroes,
The conquerors of distant lands,
And our friends shall flank us.

Will you come with me my friend?

For without you it will only be a journey,
With you beside me, it shall be a pilgrimage.

Of the hook Line and Sinker

Well....I have chosen the topic.Now I need to write something.However the pompous ass I am,I didn't even think twice before attempting to let my feelings be known on something so vague. However I guess even the greatest fools deserve the chance to try and I am no better..So let's see what I can come up with..

We often hear the words "hook line and sinker" which loosely translates to falling for or believing something totally. It has a negative connotation to it implying trickery in most cases.All these we already know. Now lets try to look at it from another way.

First of all why such an idiom?

It comes from the fishing field(hence the fishy stuff associated with it i guess!!Ok that was a poor joke.)
a fishing line with a weight attache to the hook at the end of it. the weight is the bait and fishes tend to grab it getting caught in the process.Hence the usage.

Now what if I say that all these elaborate traps are nothing but mere adaptations in the face of adversity?
A fish won't swim up to the doting hands of the fisherman,hence the contraption. Also we can't argue the fisherman is doing something wrong. Afterall its a matter of his livelihood. So entrapment for selfish gains is ruled out.

In the real world people who are tricked are usually the ones who are the most gullible. Give them a coin,they will want to believe they can strike gold.So its no wonder they are tricked into false gratifications.So then the question is why is the term used in such a way?Good men are practical too and they know for the greater part the world doesnt believe in good samaritans. Therefore uninvited philanthropy is always greeted by skepticism. They wouldn't be ensnared so easily. A just punishment treachery is for the fools don't you think?

Fishes need to be caught and the ignorant frogs from the well should be taught a lesson. Hook Line and Sinker?Bring 'em on!